Letters To Nowhere
by SandyRebelo
Summary: Bellamy found an old notebook and starts writing to Clarke.
1. Chapter 1

**Letters to nowhere**

Dear Clarke,

It has been 90 days since you left.

 _"May we meet again."_ – These were the last words you told me.

I miss you Clarke. Do you know that? I guess you don't.

It's hard being without you, it's hard to make your mother listen to me, it's hard being in the council without you.

Kane helps though. He has turn out to be a nice surprise.

I'm counting the days, you know? Maybe it's silly, but I still hope you'll appear at the front gate at any second, to help me.

I went on a hunting trip today and we found a bunker with this notebook and some pencils inside. I guess I was selfish for taking it for myself. I just thought that it would be a way of not feeling so lonely by writing to you.

I have my sister, Miller and all the others, but your absence it's more difficult than any other.

I rely on you in so many ways. You always supported me and believed in me in a way that nobody else did.

I relive our last conversation almost every day since you left. I know that I did my best to try to convince you to stay, and I understand why you left, even if I miss you like crazy.

I hope that you find what you're looking for. I hope that you find yourself, and that when you feel prepared, you come back to us. To your mother. To your friends. To me.

Please come back, blondie. I miss you.

 **Always yours, Bell.**


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Clarke,

Here I am again, writing to you, trying to find some peace in the middle of this crazy camp, after another one of the awful and boring council meetings.

Diplomatic stuff is not my thing, Clarke, you would know that if you were here. You do know I'm the guy who acts, not the guy who listens and follow rules.

Your mom is driving me crazy. And you know? Sometimes she does remind me a lot of what you were like in the beginning, when we first got to Earth.

Kane and I are getting along; he's trying to help me with your mom. Sometimes I think that when we were together, we looked a lot like them, like your mom and Kane.

The meetings are boring, like I said before, but I know that this is part of the job.

We're trying to find a way to find the others stations of the Ark. We did some search and we're trying to discover if there's more people alive out there.

Raven, Monty and Wick are working together.

Jasper is still mad with us because of happen in Mount Weather, because of Maya. He's not the same, Clarke. He almost doesn't talk with anyone, he eats alone, somewhere in the Camp, he almost doesn't leave his tent. I don't know what to do to help him, Blondie.

Miller is working with his father in the guard. Him and Monty are getting along too. I think that Mount Weather made them become closer friends.

Octavia and Lincoln are the ones who lead the hunting trips almost every time we do one. They know the forest better than anyone else here, it's what they say whenever we get out of here.

Harper still screams at night. I hear her sometimes when I was on the night shift of the guard. Though she has started to help your mother and Jackson in medical. We need more healers and she volunteered to help.

We still don't know anything about Murphy or Jaha. Kane wants to try to find them, but your mom says that we can't send anyone out of this camp, yet, we still don't have the resources to do so.

I miss you, Blondie, please come back home.

 **Always yours, Bell.**


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Clarke,

It's been a while since I've written to you, but I had a few problems these days.

Something happened, but I don't want you to worry about it.

I'm going to try to tell you everything.

A few days ago, me, Octavia, Lincoln, Miller and Kane left Camp Jaha to try to hunt something and, mainly, to do a reconnaissance mission in search for the other parts of the Ark.

Your mother tried to convince us to not waste resources and to not leave Camp Jaha, but Kane talked to her and made her understand that finding the others parts from the Ark could help us gaining more resources.

After some heated discussion between them, she allowed Kane to take a small group of people and go out in a search party.

Monty, Raven and Wick found a way for us to leave with a radio, to stay in contact with the Camp and to give everyone some heads up.

After a few hours of walking and unsuccessful search, I got separated from the group.

I went to look for them and I wasn't careful enough, so, an old grounder trap hit me and I got myself hurt.

That's why I didn't write for some days.

I was in bad shape when Octavia and the others found me. I don't remember much to be honest with you, I just remember that the pain on my leg was unbearable.

When they found me, Lincoln helped Octavia to stabilizing my leg, Miller and Kane went to try to found something to make a stretcher for carrying me back to the camp.

When Lincoln stabilized my leg, Octavia picked up the radio and told Raven that we were going to get back to the Camp and asked her to tell Abby to have the med bay ready to receive me.

She didn't share many details with her, but I noticed in her voice that what I had was probably serious, considering Octavia's nervous voice tone while talking to Raven.

Miller and Kane went back with an improvise stretcher to carry me.

After that, we all took the path to go back to the camp.

A bit later, only a few minutes after they started walking, the last thing I heard was Octavia voice saying to me _"I won't let anything bad happen to you big brother. I promise you."_ – The exact words I told her so many times, in what seems like a distant life.

I heard my sister's words and after that, everything went black.

* * *

I woke up, in what I assumed to be, a few days later.

Octavia was by my side, holding my hand.

My leg still hurts. I try to move but Octavia told me to stay still and that she was going to call for Abby.

When your mom entered the room, I noticed her tired face, but somehow, she was relieved to see me better.

She told about my leg, that I needed to rest and that I would stay in bed a few more days, without making many efforts.

I don't like this idea Clarke. I don't like the idea of being in a bed all day, without anything to distract me from thinking… Especially, without anything to distract me from your absence.

I dreamed with Blondie, but that is a different story for a different letter.

I miss you Clarke. Please come to us. Please, come back to me.

Always yours, Bellamy.


End file.
